Over the past 33 weeks I have learned quite a bit about being pregnant. I won't say I'm an expert, but I can give quite a few tips after all of my reading, research, and personal experience. Well, from all of this reading I have come to one unpleasant realization (actually I've had a lot of these, who are we kiddin?). This big realization is that between God's decisions and doctors' recommendations, the possibility of sleeping in the last few weeks of a pregnancy is a complete joke. Let me explain and as I go through these "helpful tips" for sleeping please build your own mental image (preferably not of me) of what this will look like.
Here we go:
1. For the best blood flow to the uterus, pregnant women should sleep on their left side. (not too big of a deal, right?)
2. Recommended for comfort, pregnant women then need to place one pillow under their head and shoulders, one under their chest and belly, and one between the knees. The one between the knees is to help with hip alignment (you heard me, just like a 90 year old woman).
3. Now that I've got the pillows aligned, you'd think I'd be good. But noooo....to alleviate swelling in the hands and feet (which is very common), a pregnant woman should use additional pillows to prop up her feet and hands. (Still creating that mental image?)
4. Now, for back pain I should also be sleeping in a maternity back belt- something I have refused to do simply because my ego can not take any more hits at this point.
5. Pregnant women often have a tender chest and therefore it is also recommended to sleep in a sleeping bra. (Ah, how relaxing, a back brace and bra! Why didn't I do this before pregnancy!)
6. Now all pillowed up and with elevated limbs, pregnant women still suffer from sinus issues. This is because the tissue in your nose is just like the tissue inside your woman parts....and all of it is swollen. To alleviate the sinus congestion, doctors recommend using additional pillows to prop up the pregnant woman's head. (Spencer believes our pillows must be very fertile because over the past few weeks they've multipled over and over, now creating a soft, fluffy Wall of China between us in bed.)
(So far does this mental picture look even remotely comfortable?)
7. So let's say I get in bed at 9pm and am able to implement all of the above 6 steps of pregnant sleeping. Let's say I've finished by about 9:15pm. I am now out of breath (more on that complaint later) so I try moving the kid off of my lungs. Let's say by 9:30 the kid is positioned off of my lungs, however now that he is off of my lungs he is now on my bladder. After 30 minutes of preparing for the sleeping position I now have to go to the bathroom. Great. Just Great. I think you can foresee the issue here and the pattern of me not getting to sleep at night. At least we have a king size bed so Spencer can sleep through most of this. He will pay for it unfortunately when I am crabby the next day. He may even be silly enough to ask, "Did you not get enough sleep?" HA!
So that is the "Recommended Sleeping Position" for pregnant women in the last few weeks. What a crock!
Fortunately, I love my husband very much and for some odd reason, he still loves me! And I know I love this little blessing inside of me- our perfect little gift from God!
For nursery pictures see here: http://www.babyshell.shutterfly.com/
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